Dare to Dream and Just Push Through It.

I woke up this morning feeling like I had been run over by a truck.  Not that I know what that feels like, but if I had to imagine what it felt like I would have likened it to the massive aching body that greeted me when I opened my eyes.  Getting older can mean different things for different people - for me it means that every day my joints wear out just a little bit more.  Do I sound like I am whining?  Well, maybe I am.  After all, there are things I can do to reduce the stress to my joints. I could lose weight, I could work out, I could cut back on the number of hours I spend sedentary, or I could take a handfull of pills every day to cut the pain.  I do not do any of those things because like many other people, I have gotten myself stuck in a rut and I am not sure how to get out of it.

There are those people who have the willpower of the gods and they can do anything they put their mind to.  The push through every obstacle to achieve the task at hand and they set an example for everyone else in regard to just what one person can achieve.  I often wonder what drives the individuals - I have that same drive when I start to dream about accomplishing a task.  I can plan everything from start to finish in my head and I can actually see the end result.  However, I either never start the task or I start it and it sits unfinished until I abandon it completely and dispose of the product of my mind.  Why do I do this?  I can come up with many reasons that are all legitimate when I think about my own situation.  I guess that is part of the answer to my question - we each have different abilities and even though we may dream big there is always the risk of something stopping the dream.  It could me a mental deficiency that cripples a person or it could be a physical reason.  In my case it is both. 

I deal with depression, arthritis, and cardiac conditions that often stop me dead in my tracks.  However, I am learning that I can still accomplish tasks that seem insurmountable.  I just have to go back to taking baby steps . . . or in this case baby bites.  It may take me longer to accomplish something but I realized that I needed to continued to bring my dreams to fruition even if it takes me two or three time longer than someone else.  After all, what is the hurry?  The dream is alive as long as I make it so.  I have decided that I need to continued to dream and tell myself to "just push through it".  Wish me luck!

Random Thought:  What if we all decided to "just push through it" and accomplished all that we dreamt of.  Imagine the possibilities . . . No, do the impossible.

~Daemon

The Year of Problem Solving

This morning I had another one of my epiphanies.  This one was better than the one I had where I realized I didn't have to eat blueberries anymore because I was an adult and could make my own decisions - that's a whole other blog.  Anyway, I have been struggling with not getting out of the house enough and feeling sorry for myself because I don't have time to do any errands before work.  What I realized this morning is that I do have time to do errands before work and the reason I wasn't going out before work was because I didn't want to wear my scrubs on my errands.  Here is the easy fix - wear whatever I am wearing from when I got dressed for the day and just bring my scrubs to work with me and put them on there.  Why did it take me so many years - yes, years - to come up with this solution?  Probably because I was too focused on feeling trapped and sorry for myself.

So, today I dressed in my jeans, t-shirt, and put on my makeup.  I fixed my hair, grabbed some lunch, ran a couple errands and still had time to stop at the local coffee shop for some much needed caffeine and a little "blogging" time. My scrub outfit is hanging in the vehicle just waiting for me to put it on when I get to work.  Work - there is another issue that this will help with.  We used to be able to punch in when we got to work and the boss would just adjust our time to reflect our scheduled start time.  Now, we have a new time and attendance system and staff is not supposed to clock in early - we have to wait for the clock to be at least seven minutes before the start time before sliding that badge through the reader.  I usually get to work at least 15 minutes early and I always just punched in and started working on something.  After the new rule took effect, I would often get to work early and plan to go back to the time clock to punch in - that didn't always happen.  New plan: I am going to go to work like I always have but from now on I will have my scrubs with me a go to the locker room and change. By the time I am done doing that I should be able to punch into work as I am going by the time clock.  Problem solved!  An added benefit is that I can change back to my street clothes after work and reduce the "bugs" that I could potentially be bringing into my home.  Win-Win!

Life has so many road blocks for all of us and it is easy to let ourselves get pulled down to a point where we feel we have no control over our own outcomes. I'm not a big believer in New Year resolutions but considering we are just starting a new year, I think that I am going to try looking back to my past and pull out some of the tools I used to use to help others problem solve.  I have a plethora of skills and tools sitting inside my brain just waiting to be dusted off and put to good use.  I think 2020 is going to be the "year of the problem solver" and I am going to try find unique ways to get myself going in the right direction.

Random Thought:  What if everyone focused on solutions rather than problems for just one day . . . I can only imagine the productivity spike that could result.

~Daemon

Starting the journey . . .

I plan to take a trip this June and much of the time is going to be spent walking.  The winter has been hard on me and I have been hard on myself.  Living in the upper Northwest part of the United States isn't easy on those of us who need to have sunshine in our lives to keep our brains happy, productive, and positive.  Gloomy days abound: over-eating, sleeping longer hours, and human hibernation seems to go hand in hand with the lack of sunshine.  The lack of activity means I need to get myself conditioned to a point where I can walk longer distances without feeling like I need to have an oxygen mask applied.  If I don't, my trip isn't going to be as fun as I want it to be. I am extremely obese but I'm fortunate (or unfortunate depending on how one looks at it) that my weight gains are evenly distributed over all of my body.

This week I got serious about starting my health improvement journey. My first goal is to walk every day - I am ecstatic to state that I have walked at least 1 mile for three days in a row.  Now some people might not think this is a big deal . . . but, those of us who carry the sloth gene know just how much of an accomplishment it really is. I decided to use the Google Fit application as it is available on my telephone and my smart watch and call me silly but the little "atta girl" reminders from Google just make me happy.  I know it is only a machine, but it still makes me feel like someone is acknowledging my accomplishments. I am also inspired by a couple of my co-workers - they don't know they are my inspiration and that's okay - one day I will tell them. Until that time, I will just continue to watch their own progress and maybe toss in my own words of encouragement to them.

 I will eventually work on my obsession with sugars and carbs, but for now I need to tackle my physical self.  I am taking the approach of building my own pyramid and the base layer is going to be exercise because even if I eat healthier, it doesn't help improve my mobility the way I want it to.  Diet is going to be the second layer of my pyramid and I know from experience that I will more than likely have to build this layer several times before I get it right.  Maybe the fact that I love vegetables, fruits, nuts, and legumes will be my saving grace.  I may just end up having to become radical and ban certain food from being brought into the house.  Time will tell, but for now the focus is exercise and spring has come to Minnesota to help me get going.

Random thought:  I wonder if I would have developed these same bad habits if I lived in a warmer climate near an area that supplied fresh produce year round?  I am guessing I would have because even people in tropical paradises are obese.  I think the key is going to be creating my version of paradise in the plains of Northern Minnesota and it has to start with molding a better "Me".

Wish me luck :)

The Purpose

The Purpose

I can see all of the things that are wrong

and I almost choke on the unfairness of it all.

Why doesn't anyone else seem to see what I do?

Am I the only one able to make the call?

The child that is left alone to die in the trash

is innocent yet unprotected by humanity.

An unheard  voice that may forever be stifled

by someone's supposed temporary insanity.

The little ones climb out of the angry pits

only to be so scarred they cannot heal alone.

Who is going to help these desperate souls?

Are they to be left to fend off evil on their own?

An angel of mercy has opened his wings to

wrap them around an angry young man.

He starts to step into the circle of light

then suddenly turns to run again.

He does not understand the power

to be found in the center of the glow.

His Faith needs nurturing, mentoring, and 

understanding in order to grow.

Our purpose has now become crystal clear . . . 

We are to go forth and spread His love

so those who do not know Him can learn

that true inner peace can only come from above.

                                Daemon Ⓒ 1998

Despair . . . Hope . . . Faith

Despair . . . Hope . . . Faith

A glimmer of hope here and there,

a small whispered prayer,

promises made but not meant;

For years there's despair.

Too many times the pit is black

and the light doesn't glow,

but the pain keeps striking me

right here,  I'm alone!

Darkness slowly becomes my friend

while others just fade

until their faces are gone.

I still have not prayed.

Though many years have gone by,

there is anger there

in the place where joy should be.

No one is aware.

"You will be fine just wait and see."

They smiled and walked on

not thinking how their words hurt;

I look, they are gone.

You have come to replace them all.

My only friend true.

You did not leave, it was me,

I was too confused.

We have found each other again

and the pit gets bright.

Your words are my salvation

in the darkest night.

The light glows brighter than life

and I embrace it

with hope and joy in my heart.

I will leave the pit!

Was it a test? I do not know,

but I have survived

and here I am, stronger for it.

I'm here, I am alive!

I know that if I need You,

You are always there

with open arms for the lost.

It's all in the Book!

                                    Daemon Ⓒ 1991